Feeling Happy and a Little Guilty?

Well, he did it. I don't know how, but he did it. My son and his amazing partner qualified for the 2015 US National Figure Skating Championships in ice dance! After having relatively low finishes all season, and a HUGE field of teams competing against them, I figured one of those coveted 4 spots was most likely out of reach for them for this year. Imagine my surprise when they finished 3rd in the pattern dance portion of the event and held on in the free to keep a top 4 placement! He and his partner have worked so, so hard all year and I couldn't be prouder and happier for them achieving the first major goal they set when they started skating together.

Meanwhile, I haven't competed since the ISU Adult competition in Germany in May of 2009. And I feel really guilty when I say this but -- I honestly don't miss it. I didn't even miss it when I went to watch my best friend compete at the 2014 Adult Nationals. I didn't even have a twinge to step out on that ice. And it made me kind of sad. Back in the day, when I'd go see Stars on Ice or Michelle Kwan skate in Champions on Ice, the first thing I would feel after the show ended was the itch to get onto the ice myself. Had I brought my skates with me to the show, the security guards would have been hard pressed to keep me from jumping on the show ice once the skaters left the building. I'd search for photos of my favorite costumes online and wonder how I might be able to get something similar made for myself. When skaters -- especially Michelle -- used music I fell in love with and wanted to skate to, I'd go to the ends of the earth to find a copy.

 Now? Well, I love watching the skaters and enjoy the show (and obsessively rewatch some of my favorite programs on youtube with the British Eurosport commentators only). And that's about it. The only time I have that 'itch' to compete or even get on the ice is when I think of how much fun I had ice dancing with my son's now-secondary ice dance coach, something I had to give up so he could use the time and the $ for his own skills.

 Someday, when my son's own competitive journey is over, I know I'll get my Meryl/Tessa moment and do a free dance to music I pick and that I love. I'm proud of what I was able to accomplish as an adult singles skater at Nationals and the ISU Adult event, and that I was able to achieve all the goals I set out to do when I first started skating. But I also feel like I'm done. And surprisingly I think I am ok with that.

Why I Love Michelle Kwan

Like most figure skating fans, I remember the first time I saw Michelle Kwan skate -- when she finished second at the infamous 1994 US National Championships, behind Tonya Harding. She was adorable and talented, but as an Oksana Bauil fan, I didn't pay too much attention to her in the ensuing Nancy/Tonya sideshow. So, like most other skating fans, I was surprised to see her emerge in the fall of 1995 with mature, beautiful programs set to unusual, wonderful music. This program is still probably my favorite of hers ever:

I remember watching every competition she was in that season and cheering for her, celebrating when she won her first National title and even more so when she won her first World title in Edmonton. I was officially hooked, and officially a "Kwaniac". Michelle followed up her 1995-96 programs with two even more innovative and beautiful pieces of music and choreography with "Dream of Desdemona" (I LOVE this dress!)
and the brilliant Taj Mahal long program:

I was so disappointed that she wasn't able to repeat as National, GPF and World Champion, but was optimistic that with her boot issues now fixed, and a (comparatively) bad season out of her system, Michelle was on track to be the first US Ladies' Olympic Gold medalist since the amazing Kristi Yamaguchi in 1992. After fighting a toe injury late in the fall of 1997, Michelle came to the 1998 US Nationals a huge question mark, and responded by delivering two of her best programs ever and receiving a record-setting amount of 6.0 marks in the process.

This comment on youtube sums this performance up perfectly: "This was exquisite from start to finish. If I was a sculptor, I would do a bronze of Michelle in that final pose... it just seems to sum up what beautiful skating is all about." Hopes were high in our house that Michelle would win the Olympic gold in equally stunning fashion. But with a bad skate draw early in the final group, and triple triples, undeniable enthusiasm, and a great skate order for Tara Lipinski, the marks did not go Michelle's way, and she found herself in the second spot on the podium. I was as devastated as if I had been the one that had skated. It was really, really hard to watch the medal ceremony, but Michelle's wonderful sportsmanship and praise for the winner's performance and skating removed some of the sting.

As an article at the time stated: "The essence of a gracious loser, Kwan let nary a frown destroy Lipinski's big moment. "I like you, Tara," she would say later in the night, while Lipinski was basking in the spotlight. "All of us have to come out of this happy, and enjoying the moment."
Michelle's grace under pressure and in defeat earned her even more new fans, and even the honor of presenting the President of the United States the Olympic team jacket at the Olympian's White House reception that spring. It was turning out the silver was more valuable than gold, and she could easily have turned pro and enjoyed a lucrative, long professional career. Lucky for those of us who were Michelle fans, she still had more masterpieces and magical moments to share....

A few of my favorite things -- Part 2!

Meryl Davis and Charlie White's brilliant Eleanor Rigby free dance from 2008. I'd love to see them skate to something like this again; it was so haunting yet beautiful and the music cuts were brilliant.

A Few of My Favorite Things -- On Ice!

My favorite program by Ashley Wagner and one of my favorite short programs of all time. Her speed is amazing!

Moving to the Sidelines

The 2012 Adult National Figure Skating Championships start today, and I'm not there. I'm more sad because it's the only place I get to see most of my adult skating friends than over the fact that I am not getting to compete. After winning a medal in final round at Adult Nationals, and getting a podium spot at the ISU's international adult competition in Germany, it's been hard to keep inspiring myself to keep going now that I had conquered all the competition mountains I had wanted to climb when I first started.

This is actually good, because now my son, who used to loathe figure skating so much that he would sit on the ice and play with the snow instead of participate in the tot class, is now completely in love with it. He is working on his qualifying-level dances with his new partner and also trying to keep up with his freestyle. He skates 5-6 days a week, and it is tough -- a LOT tougher than the training I did as an adult skater! -- but every time I ask him if he wants to quit or stop, he says no way. He also LOVES the elite figure skaters, and the few times he has gotten to meet his heroes in person, my usually-chatterbox son goes mute in awe. :) Needless to say it is great to have another skating fan in the house!

So I suppose this means I am on the second stage of my journey in skating -- that of skater supporter (and my son's #1 fan, of course). And I'm excited to see where this goes.

Even if watching him compete is 1000 times harder than being out there on the ice competing myself!

One thing on my Olympic Hopes list came true, yippeee!

Shen and Zhao win, hooray!

Nationals Wrap-Up

Wow, what a (2) week(s)!

Still hate the 2 weekend schedule, but it ended up being worth it for the men and pairs event getting more attention.

It's funny because on every skating board I visited before the men's event started, in every prediction contest I saw, almost no one had Jeremy in first. But I did! And I was right! And it was, as Scott Hamilton put it, "a beat down" of the rest of the men's field. My favorite Nationals performance since Michelle's Lyra in 1998. Yeah, it was THAT good.

Thrilled for the Florida pairs both going to the Olympics, but am still grrr-ing at John Baldwin's inane comments and poor sportsmanship after the competition ended. Can't remember if it was John or his coaches who said it, but the comment about it not being fair that the judges gave a negative GOE on their throw triple axel when no one else does it made me cringe. Even at my lowly skating level I know it's more important to do the things you can do well instead of doing things you can "sort of" do poorly.

So happy for Meryl and Charlie, and I love Tanith and Ben's FS music, but loathe the new costumes (go back to the Cup of China ones, please!) As much as I love Merlie I think Tessa and Scott have the best FD this season and I love it more each time I watch it. Russian D/S's original dance, on the other hand......(shudder).

Ladies was interesting -- I wish Alissa and Sasha had skated better, and I really wanted Ashley to have a clean SP after last year. Overall I think the podium was accurate, although I would have switched some of the places around. Was thrilled for Mirai bringing it for both portions of the event.